letter to the missionary's wife

A few months ago, I wrote a letter to a young girl
 who is very, very much like a sister to me.

She and her husband are traveling on deputation
 raising money to move to the

 mountains of some far off place as missionaries.

Since then,
 the Lord has been bringing the letter back to my mind,

 so I decided to share it.

  Maybe {just, maybe} there's another young missionary lady out there who needs it.

(edited briefly to keep private things 
that were only meant for her eyes)

to my beautiful sis_______________,

first off, I’m so very proud of you.

Not many women have the faith to follow their man’s adventures.

  Yes, it takes a lot of faith.
 But, many women don’t have men like us! {wink}

  Being a missionary’s wife is not for the faint-hearted or delicate.

  You have to be willing to “bite your tongue”,

 especially when the situations don’t make sense
 or don’t balance out on paper.

  And those seriously painful times
 when you miss loved ones so far away.

I take this out on my kids.
  I randomly hold them, squeeze them,
 grab them as they walk by and spin them around.

  It’s so nice to touch family.
  My worst times are always around family’s birthdays,

 or when someone back home has a baby.

 {I hurt inside}.

  I want to hold that new little family member in my arms.

I don’t even want to start on the challenges of deputation!

Many of us missionary’s wives feel like we have to
 “play the perfect wife”.

It is a game, a production.
  The best actors and actresses win the role.

I’m convinced of it. 

No one {!!!}... can be smiling and bright-eyed
 every Church service {cocked eyebrow}

Yet, the missionary’s wife is!

Even though she’s ticked off at her husband

 and the baby just screamed the last 11 hours in the carseat.

She has to act humble, gracious, 

and oh, so submissive when she doesn’t always feel like it.

Because everyone is watching her.

Let those days mold you and teach you.

Find joy in the experiences and hold tight to that joy.

There will be trials but purpose to look for the things
 that makes you smile

(a sunset, a child's smile, a dark chocolate bar)

 and not let the grumpy old storm clouds hide your sunshine.

One thing I always stress to other ladies is
 the need to show genuine joy.

If you’re always faking it, your kids will know.

I don’t want my girls to see a fake mommy.

If I feel like singing....I sing.

If I feel like kicking the dog...
I chase him around the yard till I’m cooled off.

Good thing I have a fast dog.  {grin}

One of the greatest gifts we can give our kids

 is the knowledge that a life serving the Lord is fun and happy.

And that man of yours?
  What’s the greatest gift you can give him?

Well, I’d start off with....he needs a lot of {whistle}.

But you already know that!
  There are a lot of woman prowling around looking for the
exact type of man who gets in your bed each night.

  Give him a reason to come home.
  Make his home happy and comfortable to him.

  Realistically my home is rarely all clean.  Very rarely.

  With 4 little kids, a big house, homeschooling, and church responsibilities
 it’s just impractical to have it all.

  Find out what’s important to him...a nice supper, a clean front room, happy quiet kids {haha},

 or your bedroom always picked up and inviting.

  When you narrow this down, make that your priority.
You have to hold your man tight and no matter what happens,
 let him know that you’ll always {always} be there for him.

Again, I’m so proud of you, 

Just a note to Whom it may concern:    
Dear, Annonymous, Occasionally, when I write a piece about how grateful I am to be a missionary’s wife or how wonderful it is to serve the Lord here.  There is a certain anonymous unhappy person who sends me "anonymous" emails telling me how much I brag about being a missionary or rub it in that they' don't get to do what I do.   Please don't be ugly like that.