Thursday, September 9, 2010

A Guest in the Night

Ok, so apparently you can't kill a giant cockroach with a plastic baby spoon.  Who knew?

Before I get started with my little story, please understand that our home is not invested with cockroaches.  Their sightings are few and far between....and usually so traumatic for me that I can't help myself from sharing.

There have been several break-ins in our area lately.  So "Nervous Nellie" me wakes up at the slightest sound and gets up to walk through the house and peek out the windows.  I've even whispered out my window,  "Drago, are you awake and listening?"

About 2 a.m., last night, I thought I heard something behind the house.  So I slipped out of bed and tiptoed through the house like .007.  Periodically stopping to listen and peeking around corners.  Something big ran across the floor, right in front of me, and under the couch.  I thought it was a lizard and I usually never bother them, but this one ran sorta "funny".  I quickly switched on a light and threw all my weight against the couch, to move it.  There, on the floor, was a cockroach over 2 inches long...not including his {honkin'} huge antennas!  I think he could get cable with those babies!  Moving the couch had flipped him over on his back and he was laying there kicking everyone of his sticky little feet, trying to get away.  I quickly scanned the room (with one eye) looking for a murder weapon.  Nothing.  That's what I get for having an immaculately clean house.    (Excuse me while I laugh historically at my own joke!)

I {sweetly} called to Prince, " Hey get up and kill this bug!!!"  Now, Prince is not very coherent when he's sleeping.  We hold some {brilliant} conversations, when he's half asleep, that he has no recollection of.  After a second frantic scream, I hear a groggy voice call quietly, "Kill who?"  That's when I knew I was on my own.

Then I saw it!  Laying against the wall was a plastic baby spoon.  I snatched it up and jabbed with all my might.  It bent in half.  The roach used two hands to grab the side, flip himself over and scurry under the other couch.  Within a split second I again used all my might (my couches are really heavy) and shoved the couch in the middle of the room.  I think the bug was sitting there in shock...not really believing I could move the couch.  He took two steps, then turned and stared at me.  On the other side of the room was one of Eden's sandals.  Me and the bug looked at the shoe then back at each other.  Well, sorta.  I think he knew what I was thinking though.  Because, when I made a break for the shoe, he darted across the room the other way.  My legs are longer {thankfully} and I made it back to squish him before he climbed under something else heavy.

I sat down on the concrete floor, sweat running down my back, and looked at the big greasy spot with antennas.  Want to know what ran through my pregnant mind?

I wish I had a doughnut.  {smile}

p.s. Giveaway ends tomorrow!


missionarymmma said...

Thats it! It's your fault! Here I am innocently trying to lose my just had a baby fat, and twice now you metion donuts.

Now, I am craving a donut too. :-) Wnder if I can convince my hubby to make a mad dash out for post pregnancy cravings - HA! I'm thinking not. So I will just sit here and imagine it, and knowing me I'll gain just thinking about one.

Rachel said...

mentioned your blog on email

Christina Zimmerman said...

haha..did you ever find the thing! You sound like me and my bat..hehe :)

Tinyla said...

This is absolutely hilarious Maria!!! I could really picture it in my mind. I love your blog!
P.S. looking forward to seeing you guys! Praying for your trip and delivery.

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