Friday, October 29, 2010

Stardust on My Pillow

October 24, 2010
Every once in awhile I write a post that gives a glimmer to deep inside me.  This is one of those times.  I’m not even sure I’ll post it.
As a teenage girl I would dream about life “on the mission field” and exactly how it “would be”.  Life would always be perfect and storylike.  Always easy, smooth, and beautiful.  
I had stars in my eyes going into my story.
I’ve been reflecting back on the year I lived in Jamaica, with Prince and the girls.  Life is not always like we planned.  
There was a lot of adjusting.
There was a lot of getting rid of selfish desires.
There was a lot of {stuff}.
There were even some nights, late when no one could see or hear.  Times when I poured my heart out to my blessed Lord.  Those nights I left a lot of star dust on my pillow.  I’m so thankful that my Redeemer liveth and listens to my every thought and prayer.  
I’m not regretful that I live on the missionfield.  I’m not regretful that it is Jamaica.  I’m very grateful and thankful for the life that I share with my husband and daughters.  
Just recently I was talking to one of my brother-in-laws.  We were discussing Jamaica and the different culture.  As we were talking it hit me, life isn’t always smooth and easy.  Life isn’t always the way I plan it out. 
BUT!!!.....on the missionfield God becomes more real.  When you literally have to pray for the food you eat, and when you wake up each morning knowing that He literally protected you through the night, God is more then just a bedtime prayer and a Sunday School story.
I know there are times, when I’ve prayed with my princesses, for God to give us running water today, or “Please, turn the electricity back on.”  And shortly after we pray, God answers.  What is a richer reward then having my daughter look into my eyes and say, “God heard us, mom.”
So, as I went from a missionary with stars in her eyes to what I am today, {I believe with all my heart} all the star dust I left on my pillow was worth it.  There will probably be more tears over the years, but I’m raising my daughters to know we serve a real and living God.  What more could a mother ask for?  



Unknown said...

I enjoyed this post and it's given me some thoughts to mull over! Thanks for sharing your inner heart!

Cassidy said...

Your post blessed me so much. I'm glad you decided to post it. It's really got me thinking. And, what an amazing way for your girls to grow up so strong in the Lord!
Smiles, Cass

missionarymomma said...

Sweet post and very much reflective of my own heart too. Deeper, and better will be way on down the years when these hopes, dreams and aspiratins become such a reality that your life so reflects this reality that a post like this would not need to be written because everything in your life and in the lives of your daughters shines forth this truth. I pray this for you. As a fellow servant, I have seen the hidden pride that easily sneaks into the life of a missionary. Where we live so much higher than those around us and somehw justify it that some missionary children were being taught a mixed message. Keep rejoicing because God brings beauty from suffering. I love your blog! This will be so special for your daughters.

jeweling4god said...

thanks for sharing, I like following you and am encouraged.. so true-being on the missionfield in another country definitely draws you closer to God, He is very real and all that we have to rely on...which is nothing to be embarrassed about, its an amazing privilege!! May your daughters keep the visionn and may God grant you wisdom in leading them..

sistergirl said...

I think that is why Christian overseas seem to have a better connection with God.

In America, we have so much that we never seem to really learn how to depend and rely on God.

In many countries in the workd all you have is God's grace.

Unknown said...

Great post! Thank-you for sharing it! I know exactly what you mean, I have lived all my life in the mission field! God bless you!

Jessi said...

Ah, God knew I needed this today. It just happened to be a "you might also like" post after your recipe post today. Thanks for sharing your heart. Isn't that hard to do sometimes? It is so personal, yet you know it might be a help someday for others to know you struggled with the same thing. Thanks for helping me today. Love you, Maria!

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