The last few days have been filled with the uplifting wonderful moments spent with my mom, the trips to the beach with my family, the flutters in my tummy of my growing miracle. These are the happy {cotton candy} moments. I've missed mom so much and am trying to enjoy and treasure each minute we have together.
Then....the temperature in the house {literally!} reaches 98 degrees...the laundry pile threatens to overtake the hallway...the water goes off...some princess touched another princess's something-or-other... or Prince answers me in an short tone of voice. (Sometimes my ears have "emotional-hormone-time" too and they mix with my extremely sensitive emotions.) These are definitely ugly {storm cloud} moments. Hopefully I'm not the only woman out there suffering from these. They never last me long...Praise the Lord. Still they flash through my mind {unwanted} seeking to destroy my happily-ever-after.
Sunday, I woke up and prayed that the Lord would give me a blessing today, to help me get my mind off Me, Me, Me and my selfish desires (selfish desires mainly being a/c...I miss that so much!) I could elaborate fluently about how much I miss sleeping in a cool, comfortable room...but my "sky would cloud up" and I'd just sound like I was pouting. Totally not my intention...."Lord, forgive me."
During our song service we were singing the hymn, "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross". One of my favorite hymns. Little Glorian tottered by and reached up to me to hold her. Without going into much detail, Glorian's mom is a single mom with three little kids. Rough in the States...but even rougher in a third-world country. Her mom is a faithful lady in our church (and a good tambourine player).
The last part of the song says, "Love so amazing, so divine, Demands my soul, my life, my all".
As I sang those words, my heart was broken.
Don't you love it when there's so much going on inside you and the person sitting beside you has no clue?
I hesitate to even describe how I felt. I'm not a showy "religious" hollow person. I've always been turned off by those "Better then Sister Sue" church women.
My relationship with my Saviour is much more personal than that. He's my Father, my Saviour and my Best Friend. If anyone has any questions about how they can experience the same type of relationship with the Lord {please} feel free to email me.
I felt like God was asking me, "Did my Son have air-conditioning? Grow up, you have a job to do." Sorry if that doesn't make any sense to you, it made a world of difference in my life.
So I just hugged little Glorian's sweaty little body closer, and praised the Lord for His {to} numerous {to mention them all} blessings on my life!
P.s. I know it’s not the best picture of me...but...did I mention it was really hot here? {smile} Love to all!
7 comments:
How spoiled we are here in U.S. Bless your heart. I know it's hard when you are physically uncomfortable to have the right attitude, and I know how being miserable from the heat can hinder being productive in any way. I am praying for you especially today. This post has made me be more thankful and grateful for what I have and ashamed for what I have complained about. Yes, Maria, we all do have those times. I personally think the enemy is fighting against those who are trying to do a work for the Lord. But praise the Lord, we are on the winning side! My prayers, Gail
Thank-you for this post, Maria! I live in Brazil, South America and we don't have air conditioning either. I know how hard this is, especially when you're prgnant. It's so easy to compain, I know I am guilty of this many times! Thanks for the beautiful reminder! Hope you have a wonderful week and stay cool!
I just was thinking a few minutes ago... I'm gonig to throw my PC away. Why? Because all I ever see on blogs or facebook is how "together" and "submissive" and "sweet" and basically perfect all my friends are. For a minute there, I was beginning to think I was the only human (as in a sinner) left on earth. Doesn't anyone else EVER have a bad day/think a bad though/ have a bad attitude???
And no, I really wouldn't want everyone to air their own dirty laundry every day. You shared you "humanity" in a helpful way... not a "well if Maria can gripe, than so can I" enabling way. Am I making any sense? I'm pregnant too so let's just blame the rambling on that! ;)
Some days, I am just more aware of how badly I need God's help to keep my spirit right. And maybe that is actually a GOOD thing. Wouldn't want to get so holy I don't need Him! ;)
We're blessed. We get to serve God with our lives. And He gives us so much just as extra. None of it is deserved. Thanks for the reminder, Maria! I had some complaints on my tongue just itching to get out and you have spraed Seth from having to hear them. (I wish I could put a joking smiley face after that to imply that I'm just kidding... BUT I'm not.) ♥
Hey! I noticed you became a "Follower" of my blog, so I thought I'd check your's out as well. I was surprised to see that several of my friends also follow your blog. I was just wondering how it all connects...if you know!
I enjoyed reading your post as I too have an air conditioner (only in my bedroom), and where we are in Brazil is almost always VERY hot. I would probably struggle very much if mine broke as well! ~Esther
Ladies, thank you so much for your comments.
To my fellow pregnant friend, Kayte, I feel almost hypocritical sometimes if I only talk about those "cotton candy" moments. Life on the mission field is rough and amazing all at the same time. I used to feel like everyone should be a missionary because it was so cool....then I got to the field! :) It is a lot of sweat and hard work and disappointment. Many times I hold back to afraid of scaring future missionaries off, but then I sincerely don't want to paint a wrong picture. So I try hard to just talk about how it is for me.
Esther, I found you through a mutual friends blog, but I'm not sure how we "connect". :) My husband and I both graduated from Oklahoma Baptist College and our home church in Central Baptist in Baton Rouge, LA with Pastor B.G. Buchanan. Does that help any?
We have an a/c in our bedroom, but the cost is so much we never run it. We just use fans....and cold showers. :)
Another great post, Maria! We don't have air conditioning here either (yes, even in Ukraine it is needed in the summer!). I'm so thankful for the local, very ugly bricks that our home was built out of. They have been a lifesaver in keeping our home somewhat protected from the heat.
Loved the picture of you with the little girl and your question, "Did My Son have air-conditioning?" Great thought to ponder.
I prayed that the Lord will give you the peace you need as you continue his WILL for your life. Change is some times hard but it teaches you to appreciate those little blessings you took for granted. Don't mourn the past or home find new ways to make your situation a good one. Visit a hotel or store with a/c. Go get a snow cone or find other Americans on the island that feel the same way. That may also help to increase your church membership.
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